Dear Self, Rest

 

drown

You seem to be distracted these days. Why do you have to feel that little needles in your chest whenever something reminds you of him? I know you love him, though you haven’t told him that yet. You’ve been guarding your heart, being cautious that it will make you vulnerable at one point. But isn’t it what’s happening now?

What is that warm thing you feel on your cheeks? Are those tears? So, you are crying now for a love that he hasn’t reassured you from the beginning. Love is supposed to make you happy.  Then why are you feeling miserable now? Know that, love can be hard too. But you fought. You did. A lot of times. You tried to understand as much as you could. Until one day, you got tired. Of getting back to him whenever he says he misses you. You feel guilty when he says you always leave. But isn’t it him who pushes you away? Understand too that you have to leave a little love for yourself. Be kind to yourself. Not really little. You deserve to love yourself fully. If he doesn’t see your worth, who else will? You worked too hard for this, and in just a snap someone took it all away from you.

Let it be. Don’t text that guy. I know you’re exhausted. Tired of even entertaining guys who wanted you so badly. But that’s okay. Rest. Let your self rest. You were able to do it in more than two years, why not now? You’re still young, dear heart. Be still. Let everything be in place right now. Don’t force to have someone or something to be in your life right now if they don’t want to. At one point, the universe will do anything for you to have them back. If not, there are always better things ahead.

Yes dear heart, finally you have recognized that you are hurting. Just because everyone sees you as  tough doesn’t mean you don’t get hurt too. You’re a human. You have feelings. There’s nothing wrong on not being okay. Now, allow yourself some time to feel these and your inner questions will be answered in no time. Trust me.

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